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- explanation of these events
- this is a list of things that elliot either a) got in trouble for, or b) was informed he was not allowed to do ever, EVER again.
1: my proper military title is “lance corporal sterling” not “princess anastasia”.
2: i am not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic.
3: i am not allowed to challenge anyone’s disbelief of black magic by asking for hair.
4: i am not allowed to add “in accordance with the prophesy.” to the end of answers i give to a question an officer asks me.
5: i was informed god may not contradict any of my orders.
6: i must never ask anyone who outranks me if they’ve been smoking crack.
7: i must not valiantly push officers onto hand grenades to save the squad.
8: I was informed the irish mp's are not "after me frosted lucky charms”.
9: i was informed my name is not a killing word.
10: i am not allowed to lead a "coup" during training missions.
11: i will no longer perform "lap-dances" while in uniform.
12: if i take the uniform off in the course of the "lap-dance", it DOES still count.
13: when detained by mp's i do not have a right to a strip search.
14: i was informed that no, the pants are not optional.
15: the revolution is not now.
16: i am not allowed to drink three quarts of blue food coloring before a urine test.
17: nor should i drink three quarts of red food coloring and scream during the same.
18: i am not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for my actions.
19:i am not allowed to let sock puppets take command of my post.
20: lastly, i am not allowed to ask visiting army lieutenant colonel steele to sign my copy of blackhawk down.
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| full name:
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elliot alexander sterling
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| deed name:
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longshot
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| date of birth:
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july 12th, 1991
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| former occupation:
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usmc scout sniper/spotter
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| tribe:
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glasswalkers
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| auspice:
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ragabash
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