Alma/The Miracle of the Mundane
This article has a lot in it that resonates with me and my character. (All emphases are mine)
The Miracle of the Mundane - "what Selin wants from the world is a divine and magical kind of connection between disparate souls"
Alma thinks magic permeates all of existence and what people think of as mundane actions are actually not mundane. Those actions are interacting with the magic that permeates all of existence, and contributing to ripples and changes in it, but the interaction is so small that it is beyond her ability to perceive. She has faith that one day she will be able to.
"We are to view ourselves as unique snowflakes only as it facilitates more efficiently melting ourselves into bottled spring water. Our ultimate value is always quantifiable. All magic is lost to our sad economies of survival. Competition always supersedes connection."
Again and again my character and I return to a hope for an alternate ending to the tragedy of the commons.
That loss of magic could be the forced consensus of the technocracy. That loss of magic is not just a loss in magic but is a loss in the ability to form significant connections. Those can't happen without trust. The interdependency of life is destroyed.
They say to each other, “Whatever is here, even when it feels little dark, even when it confuses me, I have chosen to view it as divine.” Their connection is a kind of a miracle, against a landscape dominated by people more like the therapist— people with good intentions who nonetheless tell stories that lead in circles, further and further away from the truth.
Being able to maintain uncertainty and confusion is a miracle. Is a source of possible understanding. Doubt is a powerful foundation. I like how this post explores negative capacity and the comfort of tolerating discomfort.
"We must reconnect with what it means to be human: fragile, intensely fallible, and constantly humbled. We must believe in and embrace the conflicted nature of humankind. That means that even as we stop trying to live our imaginary, glorious “best lives,” we still have the audacity to believe in our own brilliance and talent and vision — even if that sometimes sounds grandiose, delusional, or unjust."
Maintaining humbleness and an awareness of intense fallibility despite competency is important to my character and me. It is interesting to watch other characters interact with her because I think her attempts at presenting appropriate fallibility get received as weakness and incoherent derangement. and incompetency.