Blessings or Curses
{{ | date=09/01/2018 | time=18:00 EST | cast=
| place_name=Alma's house | log=Saturday, September 1, 2018 early evening
Alma was shaky for a day or so, but has had time to clear her head. She wants to have a quiet an peaceful block of time for Wednesday, so she texted him a day or so ago asking if he would visit her on Saturday when she's back from the Eastern Market. "will have food and we can talk," the text finished up with.
Wednesday whistles tunelessly as he opens the side gate and comes around the back, just like he owns the place. His eyepatch is flipped up (why does he even wear that thing anymore, anyway??) and he's wearing a concert tee for a band called Avatarium. He side-steps through the gate, satchel first.
Alma watches Wednesday come through the gate and tries to read his mood. "I made your favorite." She says. Sitting on a table are some covered casserole dishes. "Chicken enchilades, green, red, mole'. Also pork enchilades. some tamales too. beans. rice. fixings." She's a little nervous and worried about people. Making food is productive compensation.
Ed.'s note. Wednesday has magical powers of empathy and stuff!
<<OOC>> Alma says, "her emotional state is, hmm, much more peaceful than
before, perhaps even relief. worried. nervous."
<<OOC>> Alma says, "she's less snarled and tangled"
"This is great - thanks, Alma. You didn't have to do this." But that doesn't stop Wednesday from eyeing the dishes appreciatively, as he sets down his satchel and the distaff tucked into the strap. He's also eyeing Alma, studying her, and takes a deep breath with a small, almost imperceptible nod at the end of it. "Been a few days, huh?"
"Yeah," She whooshes out a big breath. "So much. Um, I told Emma I'm leaving the Euthanatos. She thinks I'm being impulsive and that I should slow down. I meant to tell Alexandra but I haven't seen her. I bumped in to Aaron and told him and he had pretty much the same reaction as Emma. I'm a lot calmer now, you know? After I reached that decision point, everything started making sense and I'm a lot calmer. Your text... I've been self centered and didn't know. Could you help me understand?"
Wednesday sighs, flashes a grin to Alma, and sits down. "Remember Charles, the probably-a-werewolf? I mentioned that my teachers warned me to be careful working while angry, and you..I feel like you were correcting me when you said that anger isn't always bad. There was a moment when I was discussing Zach. Another when you first talked to me about Nephandi - I didn't even realize you were talking about that, or children, and you reacted. I feel like you tend to assume negative things about what I say some times, when I try to be careful with my words. It's frustrating, but it isn't as concerning to me as you forsaking your Tradition." Through all this, he's studying her.
<<OOC>> Wednesday says, "Since you're trying to gauge his mood, Empathy?"
<<DICE>> Alma rolls empathy + perception, difficulty 6
<<DICE>> 5 successes (6 7 7 9 9, Specialty: No, Willpower: No)
<<OOC>> Alma says, "holy crap"
<<OOC>> Wednesday says, "Jeez, what is it with you and Maya. Alright, open book time."
<<OOC>> Alma says, "I'm not agically at least"
<<OOC>> Alma says, "so don't get carried away"
<<OOC>> Wednesday says, "Weds is worried about something he's saying or going to say upsetting Alma, but pretty resolute in saying it. He's also a bit sad, like there's a loss there. He's also tired, physically, too."
She shuffles through her memories. "I don't remember everything, but--anger. I think maybe I was being defensive and in some sense overprotective towards Charles? I feel like society asks people to supress emotion too much, and it's unhealthy. I think that people should accept emotions and let them flow--and it's the decisions and actions we take that matter more. I don't disagree with you about working while angry. but I don't agree with you entirely. I meant to be bouncing ideas around. Everyone could share perspectives on... Charles, you, me?" She's raelly confused. "I didn't intend to correct. I'll work on that."
<<OOC>> Alma says, "I don't know if magicaly empathy would tell this, but her emotions feel like clearing things up with a friend is as important as clearing up the tradition thing"
Wednesday nods sharply. "Right there - I didn't actually make a statement about what I think about anger. What are you disagreeing or agreeing with me on? I think I understand why you were doing it, but I try to be very careful with what I'm saying, and it's frustrating when that doesn't seem to matter."
She's a little mindsided by his revelation and sits there a moment, in some sort of awe, deep embarassment, happiness at having a friend is being open to her about this and willing to correct her. "You're right. I just jumped to a conclusion. Wednesday, I will do my damnedest to listen to exactly what you say and no more." She looks at him earnestly. "And I apologize for doing that." She sighs, "I'm going to make mistakes. But not on purpose! I'll try ok?"
Wednesday sighs, but nodding in acknowledgement. "It's not even that bad, but it had happened several times by then, so I mentioned it. I'm sure now that you're aware, it won't be so frustrating to me. I'm not trying to make you feel bad...part of it is just two different people. The last group I was part of, we grew together for years. It's different."
"My version of a 'last group' growing together for years is my research group in Aukland. I didn't notice until halfway to yelling at everyone that some of my anger and frustration with people in Detroit was due to some mismatched expectations based on how things worked with my old group" She's embarassed it took her weeks, maybe months to figure that out.
<<OOC>> Alma says, "with magic empathy you can tell that she doesn't think you were trying to make her feel bad because feelings of reassurance upwell at the same time he says that"
"And perhaps I need to manage my expectations and be clearer what I mean when I speak. I will try." Wednesday shifts and stretches his neck with a pop. "But...and maybe I should hear you out more completely, but I think I agree with Doctor Durov and Aaron." He goes back to studying her for a moment, and asks, "Can I ask how the topic of killing children came up?"
"Yes, you can. And I'll try and answer. I asked my mentor to explain exactly what Nephandi are, because no one ever explains that. They just talk /about/ them. In vague terms. Our conversation went all over the map. I'm not good at linear thinking all the time. The conversation was not just about Nephandi, ok? The entire justification for being able to kill someone without complete harm is a belief in reincarnation and the idea that a person will have another chance the next time around. or many times around. Let me set the topic of Nephandi aside here. A baby, a Euthanatos could look at a baby, a normal one, and decide that it would be better to kill that person because this time around the child will come to no good. So, better to release them to have a better life. /That/. That bothers me. And I do not believe in reincaranation the way they do.... there... I'm really going on and on." She says, embarassed.
Wednesday seems to relax. "Okay." It's not -really- appropriate to grin here, so he doesn't, but there's clearly relief on his face. "We do have past lives, our Avatars, our inner selves move on. I don't think that the Sleepers has much say in their Urd, their Fate - they make choices, but I think until they can see the carvings of the tree - until they Awaken - they don't really have a say in those carvings." Wednesday takes a deep breath and continues, "So I understand the Euthanatos point of view a little, but...we can't see the future very well. And our involvement may change things. I don't think killing the child is a just thing."
"Me either. Maybe only the most powerful Euthanatoi would? If they thought they
could see all possible futures. Even if I was that powerful, I'd still hesitate
because--what a colosal mistake! I think it is just as colosal mistake, or
maybe even worse, to kill an adult. This is a huge part of why I want to leave.
I don't want to kill. I want to do things a different way. I still care about
death and dying. I still want to take care of people. There's a lot of thinking
you guys haven't been privy to, ok? I know I talk a lot, but some of this is
intimate. Not everyone wants to hear me go on about this type of thing. It can
creep people out."
There's a spike of sadnes there as she remembers a time someone called her creepy. "and, plus, I hadn't figured it all out in words until recently. Something about my tradition didn't feel right and it's taken me this long to figure it out." She pauses a moment, and then sighs because she's taking forever to explain this. "All that aside, the problem with ghosts in Detroit? that's serious. and if something happens to me before that's resolve, I want you to be able to get in touch with my mentor. I would like all three of you to be able to. I don't want the souls of people getting lost like that. They're in Ann Arbor. Everything is crazy and I still need to go to explain things to then. When I do that, I would like permission to give them your contact information. I will ask them if I can share theirs."
Wednesday nods here and there at that. "There are some charm-bearers who are found ahead of their Awakened, and taught by their Tradition. It's pretty common among the Verbenae. For the rest of us, we have to justify things a bit more. I think you -could- choose to stay with them, and be a voice of change, or opposition, but that's a tall responsibility." He digs in a lower coat pocket and retrieves his phone. "You can give them my number, if you want - not planning on anything that will take you out, are you?"
"The gate thing? There's a powerful spirit out there, and I don't know how it works and whether all those souls are getting consumed to power something... that's something where I can get squashed like a tiny bug." she claps, squash, "I'll give them your number. I don't know who they'd contact you as. I call them 'None'. they/them pronouns. Named them after a raven who changed my life."
"Do you think the disappearance of the dead is connected to the re-arranging of the city? Others seem to think the monument might be connected to those changes." Wednesday seems curious, pulling at his beard absent-mindedly."
"Yes." she pauses. "Aaron got angry at me when I started telling him all of my speculations." She frowns. She does not go on and on about what she thinks about the gate.
Wednesday grins at that, fingers frozen tugging near his chin. "Speculation is a good place to start when trying to figure out what to do, as long as everyone remembers it's speculation."
Alma beams at Wednesday. Speculation is one of her joys in life. It's like
there is a big dance party in her head now. "Ok, so bear in mind we have hardly
any data to go on!" This so urgently needs correcting, all of the teaching
assistence are frowning at all the students for not doing their homework.
"in 2016 aproximately 7000 people died in Detroit. How much power do you get from a person? Spread the total out over a year, dumbly, and you have 20 people a day. That is a lot of poewr, is it not? How much power can you get from harvesting the soul of a dead person?"
Wednesday seems to consider this last question. "Well, it depends on their...," then he laughs, "...I have no idea yet. But it's illustrative. There's a lot of power going somewhere, just from the dead - if they're consumed, instead of just transported."
"Yeah. I wish I had more to go on. I was hoping to recruit people to look at the gate. ONLY look. no touch. I want more data. so, all we know now is that dead are missing. there's a version of the staregate on the other side that is active. Overlaid on that gate is the power Maya saw. I don't know where the connections are. I have some new things I can try. divination. Maybe I could even look back a few years. before it began?"
"If someone like Doctor Durov could view the area from a distance, it might be safer. I wish I could help more - I should study the Gauntlet and the Tree soon, but - there's just so much to know." Wednesday grins at that - what a problem to have, the ability to understand the fundamental structure of the universe! "Kai's offered to help me study channeling power, and I've been working on studying blessings and curses - what would you choose?"
Alma starts backwards in answering Wednesday's question because learning things is also one of her favorite things to do. Which means planning what to study is a close followup. "I want to be able to follow connections--and break them too. I'd like to be able to look at that gate thing and unhook all the connections from it so that whatever is using the power doesn't get it anymore. I wouldn't mind knowing more about power though. Being able to send someone power would be a blessing. Like I send power to Note to help her. Is changing luck a little like a blessing? I only know how to change luck a little bit, not so much for other people. What kind of blessings are you working on? I would choose blessings, not curses." }}
